Their $0.02¢!... Definitely!!!...[Jokes & Quotes]

Sanctifier · Posted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:08 am Post subject:

HEADS UP: (Pay close attention from the '47 second' time frame.)

Said in ma best southern' drawl...

Sanctifier · Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 5:17 pm Post subject:

Sanctifier · Posted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 9:54 pm Post subject:

Sanctifier · Posted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:46 am Post subject:

An old female prospector shuffled into town leading a tired old mule and headed towards the only saloon to clear her perched throat.

She walked up and tied the mule to the hitching rail and stood there brushing the dust off her face and clothes just as a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a bottle in one hand and a gun in the other.

He looked at the old woman and said "hey woman can you dance ?"
She looked up and said"no I never learned and never really wanted to learn"

A crowd had gathered and the young gunslinger grinned ans said "well you old bag you're gunna learn right now" and started shooting at her feet.

Not wanting to get her toes blown off she started hopping around and the crowd started laughing.

When he had fired the last bullet The still laughing gunslinger holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule and pulled out a double barrel 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers>

The loud clicks were clearly heard thru the desert air and the crowd stopped laughing immediately. Cowboy

The gunslinger heard it and turned slowly around.

The crowd watched expectantly as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the huge bores of the shotgun pointed straight at him.

The shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hand as she quietly said "Son have you ever kissed a mule's arse???"

The gunslinger swallowed nervously and said "no ma'am, but I've always wanted to.

The lessons that can be learned from this are

1. Never be arrogant
2. Don't waste ammunition.
3. Whiskey makes you think that you are smarter than you really are..
4. Always make sure you know who has the power.
5. Don't mess with old women.They didn't get old by being stupid. Laughing

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Walk softly... and carry a BIG stick!

Sanctifier · Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 5:18 am Post subject:

This sounds like the basis for a sustainable business plan IMHO.

Sanctifier · Posted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 1:18 am Post subject:

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE...

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_________________
Walk softly... and carry a BIG stick!

Sanctifier · Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 4:16 pm Post subject:

This is maybe his best joke ever... and the MOST ACCURATE! Embarassed

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Link--> Russell Peters: Farting in front of my wife - a.k.a. The World's BEST Contraceptive! (@1:54 sec)
_________________
Walk softly... and carry a BIG stick!

Sanctifier · Posted: Mon May 05, 2014 4:47 pm Post subject:

These are pretty good too...

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_________________
Walk softly... and carry a BIG stick!

Sanctifier · Posted: Mon May 26, 2014 4:32 pm Post subject:

Sanctifier · Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:54 pm Post subject:

Okay! Time for all sub-18 year olds to go to bed NOW...
The rest of you guys are already totally corrupt, so who gives a "flying fku("... Laughing

Here's a couple zingers from that paragon of common sense, George Carlin...

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This may be the most accurate of all for all those religious zealots and hypocrites out there...
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His $0.02¢ Wink

_________________
Walk softly... and carry a BIG stick!

Sanctifier · Posted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 9:25 am Post subject:

Here's one for all those fans of the Monday Night Wrestling Shows that are so popular worldwide.
Would you want any of YOUR loved ones to take these risks just to become millionaires?...

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............... DEATH GRIP: Inside "Pro" Wrestling.
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Walk softly... and carry a BIG stick!

Sanctifier · Posted: Mon May 25, 2015 5:10 pm Post subject:

Here's something to think about in this electoral "silly season"... Rolling Eyes

Sanctifier · Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:42 am Post subject:

Sanctifier · Posted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:12 pm Post subject:

Sanctifier · Posted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 5:55 pm Post subject: