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Their $0.02¢!... Definitely!!!...[Jokes & Quotes]
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Sanctifier
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PostPosted: Sun Dec 08, 2013 7:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

HEADS UP: (Pay close attention from the '47 second' time frame.)

Said in ma best southern' drawl...
Sanctifier wrote:
An' nawh, it bein' Sunday mornin' an all... Let us pray!...

...

AMEN Brotha' Exclamation Laughing Laughing Laughing
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Sanctifier
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 5:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983) wrote:
Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.

Yup that sounds just like the typical "smartazz" that you meet so often these days...
Sanctifier wrote:
He's too lazy to try himself...
He doesn't know enough to take a shot at it...
He hates anyone else who (win or lose) at least wants to try...
and offers all the criticism and sarcasm in the world about other 2nrs' projects and level of skill!

My $0.02¢ Rolling Eyes
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 9:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anon. wrote:
Grandchildren are your reward for not killing your teenagers!

Ah boi, one for all those long-suffering parents out there... Laughing Laughing
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 2:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

An old female prospector shuffled into town leading a tired old mule and headed towards the only saloon to clear her perched throat.

She walked up and tied the mule to the hitching rail and stood there brushing the dust off her face and clothes just as a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a bottle in one hand and a gun in the other.

He looked at the old woman and said "hey woman can you dance ?"
She looked up and said"no I never learned and never really wanted to learn"

A crowd had gathered and the young gunslinger grinned ans said "well you old bag you're gunna learn right now" and started shooting at her feet.

Not wanting to get her toes blown off she started hopping around and the crowd started laughing.

When he had fired the last bullet The still laughing gunslinger holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule and pulled out a double barrel 12 gauge shotgun and cocked both hammers>

The loud clicks were clearly heard thru the desert air and the crowd stopped laughing immediately. Cowboy

The gunslinger heard it and turned slowly around.

The crowd watched expectantly as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the huge bores of the shotgun pointed straight at him.

The shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hand as she quietly said "Son have you ever kissed a mule's arse???"

The gunslinger swallowed nervously and said "no ma'am, but I've always wanted to.

The lessons that can be learned from this are

1. Never be arrogant
2. Don't waste ammunition.
3. Whiskey makes you think that you are smarter than you really are..
4. Always make sure you know who has the power.
5. Don't mess with old women.They didn't get old by being stupid. Laughing Laughing
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 5:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This sounds like the basis for a sustainable business plan IMHO.
Convenience Store mag. wrote:
Amateurs work until they get it right. Professionals work until they can't get it wrong.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 26, 2014 1:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE...

.........
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PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is maybe his best joke ever... and the MOST ACCURATE! Embarassed ... Rolling Eyes ... Shocked ...
.........

Link--> Russell Peters: Farting in front of my wife - a.k.a. The World's BEST Contraceptive! (@1:54 sec)
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PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 4:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

These are pretty good too...

.........


.........
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PostPosted: Mon May 26, 2014 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

J. Leno wrote:
Yuh know race car driving is like sex... All men think they're good at it. Laughing Laughing Laughing

And here's the Top Gear clip that it came from...

.........
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay! Time for all sub-18 year olds to go to bed NOW...
The rest of you guys are already totally corrupt, so who gives a "flying fku("...
Laughing Laughing

Here's a couple zingers from that paragon of common sense, George Carlin...

.........

This may be the most accurate of all for all those religious zealots and hypocrites out there...
.........

His $0.02¢ Wink Laughing Laughing
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 01, 2014 9:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's one for all those fans of the Monday Night Wrestling Shows that are so popular worldwide.
Would you want any of YOUR loved ones to take these risks just to become millionaires?...

.........
............... DEATH GRIP: Inside "Pro" Wrestling.
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PostPosted: Mon May 25, 2015 5:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's something to think about in this electoral "silly season"... Rolling Eyes

Sanctifier wrote:
It may not be "politically correct"...
but there's very little that's really "correct" about politics anyway Exclamation

My
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2015 10:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anon. wrote:
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success...
when they gave up! Idea

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 15, 2015 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ignatius wrote:
Pray as if God will take care of all... Act as if "all" is up to you.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 03, 2015 5:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anon. wrote:
Getting old is Mandatory --------------Growing up is Optional

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